Monday, February 02, 2009

Reel 'em in but keep it Real

You stole their hearts, now sustain their passion.

So you’ve cried for weeks, ate all the food in sight, partied your sorrows away and now your finally over your ex. But now what? Those break up tips only get you so far. Here are 5 tips women should never forget when entering the dating scene.

1. Independent Maintenance

I had a friend who let her boyfriend tell her how to style her hair, what clothes to wear, and what time to be home. She cancelled her gym membership, quit her job, and stopped hanging out with her girlfriends just so she could spend as much time with her boyfriend as possible.  Most women are starving to receive something from a man that they need to give to themselves. True power is the control you have over yourself. Remember you chose to be with him; you don’t need to be with him. Don’t ever stop living your life.

2. Je Ne Sais Quoi

Predictability= Boredom. Remember a little mystery never hurt anyone. There is a big difference between honesty and disclosure. Remember the term “word vomit.” First dates can be nerve racking, but think before you speak. He doesn’t need to know you spent seven hours shopping for your outfit, or that you’ve been waiting by the phone all day for his call. He also doesn’t need to hear about how much weight you plan on loosing before summer, or how hard you took your last break up. Quality men are attracted by less, not more. The less they know about you the more room there is for his imagination to run free.

3. Passion is a Virtue

The easiest way to lose something is to want it so bad. If you love playing tennis but he doesn’t, who cares? Keep doing what you do because you want to do it. When he sees he isn’t number one on your priority list, this will excite him to work his way to the top. Men appreciate passion and like seeing other people appreciate that too.

4. Place high value on yourself

Accept compliments and appreciate yourself! If he says you’re pretty, don’t say, “Oh you’re crazy. No I’m not!” Women who look good, feel good, and know it turn men on. Relate this to fashion. Girls who feel the need to show every inch of skin leave nothing to the imagination. This can be seen as a way to over compensate for things they are lacking. The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long. Remember, everyone likes surprises and unwrapping gifts. The only thing on your dinner plate should be food, not your chest that’s hanging out.

5. Tick Tock

Longing is good. Men would rather miss something then be sick of it. So the three-minute messages on his voicemail, or spending every night at his place are both big dating no-nos. When a little boy is given a toy on his birthday, he plays with it for 5 days and then the hype is over. On the other hand, he’ll cherish a toy he has saved all his allowance to purchase. Make him work for it and he’ll appreciate it more. If he doesn’t succeed the first time he will keep trying until he gets it. No one respects a freebie!

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